


Powerpuffs Save the Day

by sleepingalone



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Powerpuff Girls References, The Powerpuff Girls, don't get ur hopes up, this is honestly so dumb tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-02-13 02:49:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2134308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepingalone/pseuds/sleepingalone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis, Harry, and Zayn are The Powerpuff Girls and Liam is Batman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Powerpuffs Save the Day

**Author's Note:**

> It's 1am and I'm stressed about school starting and this was the result. Sorry, it really is awful. I'm not even sure if I should post this. Well, it can't hurt anyone, can it? I will post actual stuff soon though. Hopefully.
> 
> I don't own anyone or anything. Oh, and their powers and background and setting and what not are simply based on The Powerpuff Girls. They aren't the actual powerpuffs alright.

“Octiii,” Harry whined for what had to be the hundredth time that night.

“Shut _uppp_ ,” Louis whined back for what had to be the hundredth time that night as well. 

“We’ll find your stupid toy octopus tomorrow,” Zayn sighed, burying his face into his pillow. “Now just go to sleep, both of you.”

“See? Even Zayn thinks it’s stupid,” Louis sneered, and Zayn grabbed Harry’s arms to keep him from attempting to chuck his pillow at Louis in the dark. He didn’t want a repeat of last time the two had gotten into a pillow fight, somehow managing to reduce a nearby home to a pile of dust as they flew around chucking the fluff-filled fabric at speeds that cheetahs would envy, leaving faint trails of blue and green in their wake. The Professor wasn’t very pleased with the bill he was left with, either. 

Before Harry could squeal in protest, the emergency telephone went off, and Louis and Harry leaped from the bed at once, rushing to reach the phone first. Harry’s long legs won, but as he lifted the phone to his ear Louis leaped on top of him, shoving him to the floor and wrenching the receiver from his grasp. 

“Hello Mr. Mayor?” Louis asked sweetly, smirking down at where Harry remained lying on the floor, pout prominent. 

He nodded a bit at what was being said, giving random an occasional “yes” or “alright” before finally hanging up. Zayn hoped desperately that it wasn’t anything he was needed for so that he could just get some shut eye. It was almost two am and the two other boys wouldn’t stop bickering, Harry constantly complaining that he couldn’t sleep without his toy octopus and Louis sneering at him for needing it in the first place. He was almost certain Louis was the one to hide it in the first place, always trying to rile up the younger boy, but he wasn’t really in the mood for dealing with stuff at the moment. He just simply craved sleep. 

“What ‘s it?” Zayn asked, trying to lift his head off the pillow but deciding there was no point unless -

“Someone’s robbed a toy store,” Louis stated, all business, and damn it, the Mayor hadn’t simply lost his pickles again. “Maybe we could buy baby Haz here a new toy while -”

“I need Octi!” Harry cried out, not even seeming to take heed of the fact that Louis was making fun of him anymore. Suddenly, his large doe eyes lit up and he looked between the two boys in excitement. “Maybe he’s at the toy store! Maybe Octi wanted to go and try to find some of his family there!” 

Zayn barely controlled a snort, shaking his head. He really hoped Louis would just return the toy soon, he almost felt bad about how desperate Harry was getting to find his prized possession. 

“Oh, yeah, ace idea!” Louis cooed, flicking Harry on the tip of the nose. “We all know that Octi was totally alive!” 

“Shut it, honestly, Lou,” Zayn grumbled. “Where are we supposed to find this robber?” Zayn considered asking the two of them to just go on without him, but even in his half-awake state he could see that they wouldn’t get anything done. 

“I’ll lead the way!” Louis exclaimed, putting on his green suit in a flash. Zayn threw on his reddish pink suit while Harry excitedly got into his blue one. 

Louis was quickly flying out the window, zooming off towards the toy store, the two other boys behind them. 

\-----

They followed the robber clad in black back to his house as he lugged a large, black bag behind him that was inconspicuously marked with a giant green dollar sign. Harry had checked around the toy store first in a hurry, though, looking for Octi, but he was nowhere to be found. Zayn held his tongue as Louis had chuckled at his attempts. 

“Why didn’t he just rob a bank?” Zayn muttered as they floated above his home now, waiting for him to get inside and think he was safe before they came soaring in. 

“He wanted to be unique,” Louis answered. “Wanted to spice things up around here. Or maybe he just really wanted some toys.” Harry burst into giggles at that, large hand coming up to cover his mouth, contrasting with his prominent scowl from before.

“You’re so funny, Lou,” he gasped out. Zayn really didn’t understand their relationship.

”Buttercup,” Louis corrected with his alias. “Don’t want anyone finding out our real names, now, _Bubbles_.” 

“Think we can go ahead,” Zayn announced once the robber had lugged his loot inside, glancing between the two of them, but they barely paid him any mind, instead busy in the midst a tickle fight. What the fuck.

With a roll of his eyes he lowered himself towards the house, finding an open window and zipping inside. He landed himself on a kitchen counter, barely missing the open flame of a stove. This idiot had left a flame running while he wasn’t home, Christ. 

He hastily turned it off for him before leaping off the counter. He glanced back at the window to see Louis and Harry still at it, Harry pinning Louis to a nearby tree while Louis gasped for mercy, squirming around and letting out shrill giggles. 

“I’ll tell you where I hid Octi!” Louis squealed out as he swatted at Harry, and Harry suddenly froze. 

“You… _you_ hid Octi?” 

It was like watching a fucking soap opera, honestly.

Zayn turned to look around the house, following the sound of clacking and what sounded like plastic hitting plastic. He finally turned into a room to see -

Toys. Lots of toys. Well, to be more specific, lots of Batman toys. 

There was a kid’s tricycle made to look like the batmobile directly in front of him. To his left was a shelf with what had to be twenty or so different Batman action figures. The walls were plastered with Batman posters, Batman logoed cups, pens, and lunchboxes were scattered all around the room, and right in the center of it all was a brunette boy. Well, a man really, judging by his facial hair. A very manly looking man with muscles looking ready to tear through his white t-shirt and short, cropped hair. A man tapping Batman and Joker figurines together while making small explosion noises. 

“This isn’t the last you’ll hear from me, Ba -.”

Zayn let out a short cough and the boy-man’s head turned so fast he was almost sure he could hear his neck snap in the process. “Um.” Looking at him straight on, he had innocent brown eyes, scruff somewhat burying the lower half of his face, and a jawline that would probably slice Zayn’s hand right off if he went near it. “Hello.”

“Jesus?” the man-boy asked in awe, eyes going wide in reverence. Zayn glanced around. He didn’t see Jesus anywhere. 

“Er, I’m not -”

“Oh my God, I mean gosh, I mean, sorry! I didn’t mean to steal these, well, I did mean to, I just,” the boy fell to his knees at this point, staring up at Zayn in desperation. “I don’t wanna go to Hell, I just wanna be Batman!” 

Zayn stared down at him for a moment, a constant mantra of _what the fuck_ running through his head. He felt like he should just replace his pink spandex for a t-shirt with “What the Fuck” written across it, honestly. It seemed to be an accurate summary of his life. 

“I, um, yea, no, it’s fine, just. You wanna be, um, no that’s cool,” he said as steadily as he could manage, trying to play along with it. He hoped he sounded like Jesus. “Just, Batman would never steal things, would he? If you wanna be Batman you should, like, help people.” 

“Oh my Go - gobstoppers, you’re totally right, I’m such an idiot,” the man-boy nearly sobbed, burying his head in his hands. Zayn gave a curt nod, hesitantly stepping over a Batman-themed dildo to pat Liam on the shoulder.

“Yeah, so if you could just, um, return this stuff now? I really don’t wanna have to drag you to the pol-, er, condemn you to the fiery pits of Hell, kid, I mean, child,” Zayn said, voice going as serious as possible at the end. He was almost thankful Louis wasn’t here to witness this. 

“I’ll return it, I promise!” the man-boy exclaimed, leaping to his feet so suddenly Zayn flew upwards on instinct. The man-boy’s eyebrows furrowed together, looking up at Zayn almost as if in recognition, and shit, there went Zayn’s cover. Now he’d have to take him to the police station when he realized he hadn’t been touched by the hand of Jesus and went back to his criminal ways. He almost didn’t want to see the poor kid in jail, he seemed too naive for it all. 

There was a beat of silence.

“You...you can fly, Jesus?” 

\-----

“You shoulda called me in!” Louis nearly screeched, grabbing Zayn’s shoulders and shaking them back and forth forcefully. Zayn continued to stare back, indifferent to his dramatics by now.

“I didn’t wanna interrupt your domestic. Besides, it would’ve shattered the moment we were having.” It had all ended quite well, actually, Zayn managing to make his way out without too much stammering and the man-boy calling out promises that he would return the Batman merchandise and work towards making the world a better place. He also managed to get the man-boy’s name. Liam. 

“‘Shattered the moment’, Christ, _Blossom_ , you’re so poetic,” Louis grumbled, tossing himself onto their bed where Harry was currently situated. Harry growled and squirmed away as far from Louis as possible, holding Octi impossibly closer. 

Upon finding out Louis had hidden the toy, he’d taken to ignoring the boy, not even acknowledging him when he finally returned it, chucking it at Harry’s head. At first Louis was in contempt about the whole situation, avoiding Harry as well, but when it had reached the one hour mark, the longest that they had ever ignored eachother, he was obviously desperate for some attention from the pouty boy. But everytime he said a word to Harry he’d just growl and flip him off, turning up the volume on his music.

“It’s kinda ironic he thought you were Jesus, really,” Louis commented, and Zayn made an inquiring noise. “Cuz you’re Muslim and you don’t even believe in Jesus, ya know?” Zayn stared at him for a moment before letting out a low sigh of annoyance.

“Muslims believe in Jesus, Lou.” 

“Yea, come on, Lou,” Harry grumbled into the top of Octi’s head and. Well. That was something. 

Louis immediately jumped at his name, and he really looked like a starved puppy encountering food for a moment, tongue even poking out to lick over his lips.

“Yeah, haha, silly me,” Louis chuckled uneasily, obviously waiting for Harry to leave the room or show some sign of irritation. When he was silent though, he took it as an invitation to keep speaking. “Look, ‘m really sorry about Octi, I just, like...I just thought it’d be funny to tease you a bit. But it wasn’t, so sorry for being an arse.”

Zayn felt rather uncomfortable sitting there while they worked out their problems, so he pulled out his phone to provide some sort of distraction, flipping open Twitter. He totally wasn’t listening in with bated breath to see what Harry would say, no, he was totally indifferent to their emotional resolutions.

“But like, I don’t get why you’re _always_ bothering me,” Harry near whispered. “You’re always, like, making fun of me and like, I don’t know, it’s quite...rude.” There was a pause. “Do you…do you hate me?” 

So many ellipsis, God.

“No no no, of course not, I could never! Fuck, no no,” Louis quickly assured, nearly tripping over his own words. “I think I’m always just trying to get your attention, I never meant for anything to come off as mean, everything you do is actually, um, really fucking cute and endearing. I just never wanted you to know that I’m in lo-”

He was cut off by the ringing phone beside Zayn. Fucking soap opera, honestly.

\-----

They reached the tall official looking building surrounded by firemen, all working desperately to put out the fire, but the building was still ablaze, slowly crumbling to the ground. The heat scorched the three of their faces as the smell of burning wood stung their senses.

“What do you need us for?” Louis asked the nearest fireman over the crackling of the flames, who quickly pointed up into the building. “Yes, it’s burning, I know.”

“There’s a kitten trapped in the building, smartass,” Zayn sighed before the fireman could get a word out. Well, he tried to sigh the sentence to continue to show his indifference, but he had to speak up a bit louder to be heard over the fire. The fireman nodded gratefully before walking off to do something firemanish. 

“And how would you know?” Louis asked at the same time Harry squealed “Kitty!”, flying off towards the building in a flash of blue. Zayn stared up after him, trusting him to return in one piece. 

“I could see the kitten from here?” Zayn shrugged. Louis rolled his eyes, mouth forming around some sort of undoubtedly snarky reply when Zayn spoke up first. “Back home, were you gonna say you’re in love with Harry?” 

Louis immediately froze, mouth dropping open. They had left their conversation hanging, rushing off to see what the emergency was instead, but Harry was back to acknowledging Louis’ existence. Apparently he wasn’t curious as to what Louis had “never wanted” him to know. Zayn figured he stopped listening after Louis called him cute, anyways.

“How did you know?” Louis asked, looking profoundly amazed as if Zayn were some sort mind-reader. Maybe he really was Jesus. 

“Isn’t that incest?” Zayn asked instead, and Louis’ lips formed a tight line as he looked past Zayn, taking in a dramatic breath as if he was about to give a proclamation of love in a work by Nicholas Sparks.

“You’re the insightful one here, Blossom. Think about it. The only similarity between us three is that we’re made of sugar, spice, and everything nice, with a hint of Chemical X. Human beings are all comprised of the same elements as well, carbon and nitrogen and what not, which are constantly recycled by nature. But they have mothers, and bloodlines, and families, which could allow for incest. And I don’t think we even have _blood_ , we’re just labratory experiments, so -” Louis shifted his eyes back to Zayn’s, eyes bright. “No, it isn’t incest.”

“A simple no would’ve done,” Zayn informed him, wondering how many times he’d rehearsed that speech.

Louis’ eyebrows furrowed together but before he could get a word out, Zayn heard an all too familiar voice. 

“Don’t worry, citizens of Townsville!” a voice boomed from above them, and Zayn looked up to see none other than Liam standing _on top of the burning building_. Shit. “I’m Batman!” And sure enough he was clad in a Batman costume, complete with a cape flowing behind him. Zayn almost wished he was on The Office so that he could stare into the camera with an exasperated expression. What was his life.

Before he could do anything even more idiotic, Zayn flew up, grabbing Liam and hauling him to the ground in a flash. Louis trailed close behind, curious and nosy as usual as he lifted Liam’s cape, examining it carefully.

“Can you fly, Batman?” Louis asked before Zayn could scold Liam for being such an idiot and ask him what the hell he was thinking. 

“Yea!” Liam exclaimed, bouncing up and down. Louis nodded, impressed. 

“Show me,” he commanded, clapping his hands together and watching Liam expectantly. Liam faltered for a moment.

“Well, actually, no. But I’ve been practicing?”

“You can’t fly, you’re _human_ ,” Zayn groaned, and suddenly Liam’s childish eyes were trained on him.

“Whoa, you look just like Jesus,” he breathed out after a moment, reaching out to stroke Zayn’s face. Zayn tried to keep from flinching at the touch. 

_”Oh,”_ Louis said in realization. 

“Yeah,” Zayn replied.

“What?”

“I got the kitty!” Harry nearly squealed, appearing out of nowhere and shoving the tiny black kitten into Louis’ face. The two stared into eachother’s eyes for a moment, Louis looking torn between adoration and being too good for cute fuzzy things, but then a small dark paw reached out and batted at Louis’ nose and his face went completely soft.

“Well aren’t you a little angel,” Louis cooed, gently taking the kitten from Harry’s grasp and stroking over it’s little head lightly. It purred in his hands, tiny limbs wiggling around. Zayn felt like he would tear up if he watched it any longer. 

“You should go home,” he informed Liam, turning towards him. 

“Are you Jesus?”

“No, no I am not Jesus, I never was Jesus, and I never will be Jesus,” Zayn told him solemnly. 

“Oh.”

“So yea, leave the whole saving the world to us? Sorry. I just don’t want you getting yourself hurt.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Liam assured, wiping away a stray tear. Zayn hoped it was just from watching the precious kitten. 

“You sure?” Zayn asked, warily watching Liam’s lower lip wobble. As much as he acted like he didn’t care about other’s problems, he liked to think he had a good grasp on reading other people, and Liam didn’t look fine. 

“Yeah, no, I guess I just really wanna, like, feel like I can make a difference? And help people? Like Batman.” Liam looked very close to openly sobbing now. 

“Oh,” Zayn said. He hastily wrapped his arms around Liam, patting him on the back twice, then once more for good measure before pulling away. “You’re important, don’t worry.” That sounded helpful enough, didn’t it? “I, um, could visit you sometime? And legally obtain some figurines to play with?” Liam’s red-rimmed eyes widened, looking up at him in surprise. 

“You’d do that for me?” he asked in awe, as if Zayn was paying off his entire college tuition. 

Zayn shrugged, looking over at Harry and Louis. They were both busy petting over the kitten in earnest, giving it small kisses and complementing it as if it were their own child. 

“Yeah, ‘course,” he said off-handedly, and suddenly Liam’s arms were wrapped around him in a death grip. 

“Thank you thank you thank you, I get so lonely, it’s gonna be so much fun!” Liam squealed into his ear, making Zayn wince. He really hoped Liam didn’t turn out to be some sort of psychopath. 

\-----

“Isn’t that, like, incest?” Harry asked, and Louis audibly groaned. The two of them were sitting on the bed and watching the little kitten play with a small ball of yarn, leaping on top of it and rolling off repeatedly, scrambling to get back on his tiny black feet each time. No one had claimed it as theirs so Harry, of course, insisted on bringing it home. He immediately named it Sherlock and even tried to stick a tiny curly-haired wig on it’s head, but it absolutely despised the thing, tearing it to shreds with it’s miniscule claws in moments.

“No, the only similarity between us three is that we’re made of sugar, spice, and ev-”

He was cut off by Harry’s lips on his and Zayn felt very sick for a moment, turning to leave the room. Maybe he’d go on and pay Liam that visit.

“Wanted this for so long,” Harry was groaning between the wet noises. “Even when I -” _smack_ “- wanted to rip your throat out -” _slurp_ “- I just, fuck, Lou.”

“Yeah,” Louis added helpfully, and Zayn wasn’t fast enough to miss what sounded a lot like belts being unbuckled before he was bounding out of the room. 

He finally stopped in the kitchen, pulling his phone out to send Liam a quick message to see if he could drop by. He wasn’t sure why even he felt excited by the prospect of playing with figurines with him. He’d never really had friends aside from Louis and Harry, he supposed. And he figured he’d want to avoid their presence a lot more for a little while. 

With a start, he realized that poor Sherlock was still trapped with the other boys, probably mortified by now. He hesitantly went to the door, cringing at the sound of Louis whining. That was definitely something he never needed to hear in his lifetime. There was also the faint sound of a disgruntled meow, but it was covered up by the creaking of the bed. Christ, were they actually _fucking_ already? It had hardly been a minute.

Taking in a deep breath, Zayn threw open the door, spotting the kitten and moving in a flash to grab him and leave the room, catching the unwelcome sight of Louis grinding down on Harry’s lap in the process, the two of them completely starkers. Christ, that image would haunt him for years. 

“You’re far too young to witness such things,” he mumbled into the tiny ball of black of fur, who shuddered understandably in response as he took refuge back in the kitchen. 

_yea im ready 4 our playdate!!!!_ came back Liam’s text, and Zayn kinda felt like strangling him and kissing him on the forehead at the same time. The urge to kiss him on the forehead was a bit stronger, though, so maybe this would be alright. 

“Stay out of our room for a bit, yea?” Zayn asked Sherlock, hoping he understood English as he carefully set him down. He let out a cute mewl and Zayn could only pray that he’d gotten his message across. He didn’t want the poor thing to die of a heart attack at such a young age. 

He gave the kitten a small nod before heading off for his playdate. _Playdate_ , Christ. 

\-----

He almost hoped the man-boy never grew up as he opened the door in his Batman costume.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is abrupt and shitty sorry I wasn't really sure how to go about closing things up. 
> 
> Thanks for actually reading this whole thing wow you deserve a few gold medals. 
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr??? Leave me feedback there if you'd prefer??? sleeepingalone.tumblr.com 
> 
> Feedback is really appreciated though, positive or negative. Don't be shy.


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